The Beautiful Green Bachelor Of Konoha
by Songstone
Summary: Gaara wasn't very tall, standing only about five feet high, but in heels, he was a good five foot two and a half...LeeGaa. AU obviously.
1. The Beginning

**The Beautiful Green Bachelor Of Konoha**

**A story by Songtsone**

**Songstone: This. Had. To. Be. Done. It **_**had**_** to! XD C'mon guys, you all should know me and my crazy writing style by now. With the new season on TV, how could I **_**not**_** be tempted to write such a OOC and amusing story? Well, I hope that this will make you guys laugh, and I hope you stick around for more.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Bachelor**

**Chapter 1: The Beginning**

_Twenty-five young ladies. _

_Twenty-five women arriving one by one in glorious white limousines. All would be dressed in the most formal of evening gowns and would have their hair pulled up into the best style, not to mention they would walk in some of the most expensive six inch heels around. Their faces would be aglow and their smiles as white as can be. The make-up they wore would be either too light or too dark over their eyes or on their lips, but some of them knew exactly how to prepare themselves. They all had to look perfect. There couldn't be a single chip in their nail polish and their earrings had to sparkle just right._

_After all, all twenty-five women had to look good for the man they were about to meet._

_Yes, The Bachelor. The man who would pick his way through over twenty women and somehow find true love at the very end of the show. To her, he would offer the last Red Rose and might even ask for her hand in marriage if she was lucky enough. That man was the one they all had to impress. He was the reason that all twenty-five women were dressed up and painted to perfection. They had to be one of the fifteen women who would get a Rose that night!_

_Twenty-five women. Though, unannounced to the camera crew, the director of the show, the host and even the handsome bachelor himself, there was a deciever amongst the females._

_The twenty-five women were really twenty-four._

- - -

Never before had Gaara Subaku felt so utterly humiliated or disgusted with himself. He was hurting his pride with what he was doing, embarrassing his family and bringing shame to all men around the world.

At the age of twenty-one, Gaara had never done anything like what he was doing just then. He would have never imagined himself in such a situation and if someone had tried to warn him about it, he would have laughed in their faces and told them that they were nuts. But now that he was really there, Gaara wished that someone really _had_ given him a heads up. Anything. Something that would have softened the blow of shock that was dealt when he stepped off of the white limousine he had been riding in.

Twenty-one years of life in which Gaara had worn nothing but boys clothes. Where he had been rough and active in a way only a boy child could. He had walked, sat, spat and even cursed like a male for almost all of his life, but here he was something completely different. Here, in front of the large mansion that waited for him outside of the limousine, Gaara had done the impossible and had changed his gender completely without any form of surgery.

Gaara wasn't very tall, standing only about five feet high, but in heels, he was a good five foot two and a half. He had wrapped himself up in a very pricey and shiny red dress that matched the color of his hair, though it didn't drop low to the middle of his chest like all of the womens' dressed did. It rested on his collar bone and the sleeves hung low off of his shoulders in an elegant fashion. The length barely reached his knees, but it was low enough to hide the fact that he was decieving everyone on the show. His middle regions were actually very well hidden and Gaara planned on keeping it that way.

Gaara's eyes were a bright aqua-ish color and were surrounded by dark, pitch black rings that made everyone around him think that he had just gone overboard with the eyeliner. In reality, the rings were just dark circles from lack of sleep, the redhead having suffered from horrible insomnia ever since he was a child. But Gaara thought that the black around his eyes made him stand out more so he had never made any sort of attempt to hide them from the world. He sported them proudly and sure enough, people noticed him as he walked down the street. Mostly because his skin was so pale that the black easily stuck out on his face.

Another odd thing about his appearance, or so he'd been told, was that his bright, flaming red hair clashed with his pale eyes. What made it even stranger was the fact that he had no eyebrows, but he didn't really care. Gaara didn't see anything wrong with his natural hair color and he personally thought that his eyes were his best feature, so he had assumed that everyone else was just overreacting. He was a strange one, even he would vouch true to that statement, but Gaara really was a good guy. He just chose to hide that fact behind his harsh words and apathetic attitude towards the people around himself.

So, as soon as he was out of the automobile, Gaara had to pretend that he was something that he wasn't. He had to pretend to be a woman. A giggling, flirtatious, fun-loving woman.

Now, how he had ended up dressed in drag and about to meet The Bachelor is a rather amusing story. His older sister, Temari, had announced one day that she had submitted a tape to try and get on the show. All of her friends thought that it was a wonderful idea and all had their fingers crossed, hoping that the director of the show would pick Temari out of thousands of other women. But Kankuro, Gaara's older brother, didn't find the news all that exciting. He was overprotective, even if his sister was a year older than he was, and didn't want any man anywhere near the blonde female.

Gaara, himself, could have cared less about what his sister chose to do. If she was picked to be on the show, he probably wouldn't watch it anyway. He hated those types of reality shows and thought that the people who actually thought that they would find true love by going on television and competing with other women over the same man were complete fools. "She won't get picked." He told Kankuro, a weak attempt to calm the other man down.

"She just might!" The brunette had retorted, sighing as he slumped even further down into the couch. "C'mon, Gaara. Temari's pretty. She's blonde, green-eyed, tall . . . Any guy would want her! She'll get picked . . ." It seemed that Kankuro should be happy for his sister, but he only sounded depressed when he thought of his big sister on television doing something that she might regret later.

"She won't get picked. I'll bet you anything." Gaara had said, rolling his eyes at Kankuro's behaviour. "There are plenty of other tall, blonde, green-eyed women out there. They don't need Temari."

Out of all that Gaara had said, his brother's ears had only filtered out one part. "Bet?" He asked, looking lazily over towards his younger brother.

Gaara had sighed and nodded his head. "Whatever you want. That's how much I _know_ that Temari won't get picked."

There had been a moment of silence and then a large grin had spread over Kankuro's face. He sat up and pointed a finger right at Gaara. "If you're so confident, then why don't _you_ send in a tape?"

The other's words had nearly made Gaara choke on the glass of root beer he'd been drinking. "What? Surely you're joking." He gaped at his brother as the said man shook his head. "I can't send in a tape, you idiot! It's for women only! And the last time I checked, I was a _man_." He crossed his arms over his chest and gave a huge huff of annoyance.

"So? Dress up like a girl." When Gaara had just gaped at him, open mouthed and wide-eyed, Kankuro sighed. "You're girly enough as it is. Just add some make-up and a wig . . . A dress." He smirked when his younger brother aimed a punch at his jaw, but he moved at the last moment, the other strinking the couch roughly.

"I am _not_ girly!" Gaara cried, enraged. He tried to hit Kankuro again, but missed when the older man hopped up from his seat. "Who do you think you are? Why don't _you_ dress up?" He demanded, his face turning red from the blood that had gone to his cheeks in a sign of embarrassment.

Kankuro only laughed at how his younger brother looked and took a seat in a rocking chair away from the couch. "Because, you said that you would bet anything. Besides, you seem so confident. What could it hurt? No one will pick you, just like no one will pick Temari." He sneered and Gaara let out a low growl, realizing that his older brother had him trapped. He _had_ said that.

"Fine." The word was spat out after a long moment of silence and Gaara took a seat back in the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. "But when they _don't_pick me or Temari, you owe me money. Lots and lots of money." His brother had agreed and had nearly choked with laughter when he saw his brother dressed as a female. Gaara had bought hair extensions that matched his color, making his hair longer, reaching down to his shoulder blades. He had styled his bangs over his eyes in a way that hid the 'love' tattoo that he had gotten done over his left eye and even went as far to wear his sister's clothes and make-up. He didn't make such a bad looking girl, really. Besides, he was not going to get picked. Not him out of all of the other women.

Oh, but how much his brother laughed when Gaara recieved a letter from the director of the show saying that he had made the cut and was to be on the show. Gaara couldn't believe it. He had kept rereading the letter while his older brother cackled and snorted in amusement, but the words never changed. He had been chosen.

But that wasn't the end of his horrible luck. About two days after he had gotten his letter in the mail, his older sister got the same one. She was jumping around the house, screaming at the top of her lungs, calling everyone she knew and bragging that she was going to be on television. Gaara and Kankuro had decided that they should keep their little stunt to themselves, because if Temari ever found out, all hell would break loose. But then . . . what could they do? Gaara had to either show up, or say that it was all fake and that he really was a male. But if he did that, then he would be _all_ over the news and he wouldn't be able to leave his house for months. No, Kankuro advised that he just go and get it over with.

"The guy'll probably tell you to get out on the very first day anyway." The brunette had told Gaara. "You're so annyoing and all." Gaara had finally got a punch to connect with his brother's stomach, but he figured that his older sibling was right. He might as well go. He would be out of there on the first day. All he had to do was give the guy the cold shoulder and act stuck up. No problem.

But as Gaara walked the steps that lead to the entry way of the house, his eyes (made up with mascara to make his eyelashes longer and thicker) caught sight of someone waiting for him on the steps.

It was a man. A tall man, standing at least six foot three at best, dressed in a formal black suit with a green tie. His hair was black and cut into an odd bowl shape around his head. His large, round eyes were a darker color of black than his hair, if possible. He had two rather massive eyebrows drawn together as he strained to see the new arrival. But as he stepped forward, his eyebrows hid beneath his bangs and his lips pulled back in a large grin, his teeth white and straight. His arms suddenly spread as he stepped forawrd to meet Gaara and the redhead's eyes widened. Was he supposed to . . . _hug_ this man?

"It's so nice to meet you!" The taller man exclaimed, rushing forward suddenly at seeing Gaara's hesitation and wrapping his arms around the other's shoulders. "My name is Lee."

Of course, at the sudden contact of human arms around him, Gaara had tensed up. But he forced that away. He was supposed to be a woman. Women liked to hug people, didn't they? Slowly, he reached up and put his small arms around Lee's waist as far as they could reach. The man really was muscular. He must have worked out . . .

When he realized that he had yet to give Lee his name, Gaara cleared his throat and spoke softly. "I'm Gaara. Nice to meet you too." Oh, Kankuro would be laughing it up back home. Gaara knew it. It really wasn't hard to make himself sound like a woman. His voice was rather light, but when he was dressed as a man, you could tell he was a man. When dressed as a woman, his voice just sounded deep and seductive. At least, that was what Kankuro told him.

After they had pulled apart and Lee had gotten the redhead's name, he smiled and backed up, out of the way. "You can go inside. I'll join you shortly."

That being said, Gaara nodded his head and smiled before scurrying away towards the mansion. He had to look and act like a woman here, most of all because as he entered, he saw at least three different camera men walking about the house with their equipment either on a stand or on their shoulders. And there were at least two others outside! Sighing, Gaara reminded himself that this was only temporary. Just one night.

Gaara heard someone talking and looked over towards the noise. When he saw who was speaking, he quickly turned in the opposite way and took a seat on the couch. His older sister! He had forgotten her! He had to avoid her at all cost. She would rat him out for sure and their went his plan.

_Just one night. Just one night._ Gaara repeated the words in his head over and over, trying to calm himself down.

_Just one long, lousy night. Just one long, lousy, stinkin' night!_

**Songstone: Well . . . I had to repost this since I got kicked out of my old account. I really hope that you guys can read and enjoy this story the second time around and maybe leave me some more of your really nice reviews.  
**


	2. Rules and a slight glitch in the plan

**The Beautiful Green Bachelor Of Konoha**

**A story by Songstone**

**Songstone: WHEE! Chapter 2! I'm so proud. XD My sister kept bugging me about this since she was anxious to know what would happen and I wouldn't tell her. Muahaha. I'm so evil. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Bachelor**

**Chapter 2: Rules and a slight glitch in the plan**

"Ladies. I want to thank all of you for coming tonight. My name is Iruka Umino and I'll be your host tonight on The Bachelor."

Gaara and all of the other women looked up from where they had been instructed to stand. Gaara was grateful that Temari was a row behind him and that she couldn't see his face. She would recognize him right away, not only because of his eyes, but because of his tattoo which, as hard as he tried, wasn't covered all the way by his bangs. He looked the older man in front of him over. Iruka was tall and had tan skin. A light scar over his nose stuck out, though, and his brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. He smiled and most of the women did the same, though Gaara chose to keep his face impassive.

"Now, I'd like to introduce you all to The Bachelor, himself. Please, come on out." He turned to the side and waved a bit. Soon enough, that tall man with the black hair and eyes that had been greeting the women outside was standing besides Iruka, smiling from ear to ear and waving to his guests. "Ladies," Iruka began again. "This is Rock Lee. He's twenty-two and is a pro-football player. He's the star quarterback of Konoha's team." All the women 'ooh'ed and 'ahh'ed at that part, since they knew that because of his occupation, he would just be_rolling_ in money. Gaara rolled his eyes inwardly.

At that point in time, Lee had stepped forward and had stuck out his hand to one of the women at the end of the line. "Nice to meet you." He was saying. The girl's name was TenTen, if Gaara remembered their very brief conversation correctly, and she smiled widely and nodded her head.

TenTen was rather pretty. She had tan skin, as most people from Konoha did (Lee included), and round brown eyes. Her hair was a deep shade of brown and was pulled back in two Chinese style buns on her head. Her face was small and round and her nose was tiny, so Gaara wouldn't go as far to say that she was 'beautiful' more than 'cute.' Still, very good looking. And sporty, as her well shaped biceps indicated. "Glad to meet you as well, Lee." Her voice was tiny as well, sounding almost like a child, but it went well with her looks and her smile.

As Lee moved down the line, he shook hands with a few girls that had introduced themselves to Gaara. Sakura Haruno was one. She had the oddest colored hair since her shoulder length locks were a light pink. Gaara wondered if it was natural or if she colored it, but decided that she looked all right with that shade. Her eyes were almost the same color as Gaara's, though, being a bright green. Her face was a bit sharper than TenTen's, her chin more prominent, but her forehead was rather large in comparison to the other ladies'. Still, she managed to pull the look off; Her skin wasn't as dark as TenTen's or Lee's, but it wasn't as pale as Gaara's either. "Hello. So glad to be here." A stronger voice too.

Ino Yamanaka was a couple of women down the line from Sakura. When Lee was introducing himself to her, she didn't just stick to shaking his hand, instead stepping forward to wrap her skinny arms around the football player's shoulders. "Ooh, nice to meet you!" She said in a louder and more flirtatious way than any other woman so far. She had long blonde hair styled all the way down to where it ended around the middle of her back. She had blue eyes with long lashes and her skin had a healthy glow to it; Not entirely pale but not too dark either. She was probably one of the taller women as well since she reached Lee nose to lips instead of having her face to his neck or chin like everyone else.

Lee was a bit taken aback by her sudden embrace, but he was smiling soon enough and had returned the gesture. He chuckled a bit when they parted and held out his hand to shake this time. "Glad to see that you're so excited about this." He said, sharing a quick laugh with Ino before he moved on down the line of women. He stopped on Gaara's line and held out his hand to the lady next to the redhead, offering that award winning smile of his. "Hi! Glad to have you."

_Geez . . . Is this guy really a football player? He could be a toothpaste model . . ._

The woman that Lee had addressed was named Hinata. Gaara remembered her better than anyone else for some reason. Probably because she seemed like the nicest girl around. Her face was a bit fuller than everyone else's, her cheeks always a flushed pink color. Her skin was a shade or two darker than Sakura's and her face was heart shaped, though it was hard to tell since she spent most of her time twidling her thumbs with her chin tucked into her chest. Her hair was the type of black that seemed more blue than anything, and her big round eyes were opal colored. They were probably the most exotic eyes that Gaara had ever seen on anyone. Besides himself, of course. Finally, Hinata worked up some courage and looked up all the way, her full height allowing her to look directly at Lee's jaw.

"N-nice to m . . . m-meet you too." She finally squeaked that out, though her face went a silly shade of red and she ducked her head again. She did manage to shake his hand, though, and once that was over, she placed both hands over her heart as if she was trying to keep it in her chest rather than have it burst forth from her.

But Gaara had to stop thinking about the other women since Lee was now standing in front of him. The redhead blinked up at Lee, a bit intimidated since his normal height would only allow him to stare at the older man's adams apple. For once, he was grateful that the heels made him appear taller than he really was even if they were giving him multiple blisters. The dress wasn't that pleasant either; Gaara couldn't wait to be alone so that he could adjust his underwear, which had been pulled and streched in all sorts of directions. It was all so very uncomfortable. How could women stand to do this all the time?

"Hey." Gaara stuck out his hand and spoke first rather than wait around for Lee to do so. All he wanted to do was get out of there as fast as he could. If he acted obnoxious and full of himself then there was no way that Lee would want to keep him around.

Lee _was_ a bit taken by Gaara's action, but that didn't seem to damper his spirits for too long. He reached out as well and took the younger's hand in his own. Though, instead of shaking it, he leaned down and pushed his lips to Gaara's knuckles, chuckling when he looked up and saw how wide the aqua colored eyes had gotten. "Hey." He repeated the other's words in a sly voice before he winked and released Gaara's hand, moving up a step to greet the remaining women.

Gaara barely heard his sister droning on about how happy she was to be there, too preoccupied with staring at his hand. He raised the limb up and just blinked at his knuckles, wondering just what on earth had made the older man do that. Gaara was trying to be rude. Why did he kiss his hand? The redhead let out a sigh and simply let his hand fall to his side, deciding to just scrub his hand roughly later with soap and water. Bleach, if need be.

Ugh. Kankuro would be laughing _so_ hard back home. Gaara just knew it.

"Everyone!" Gaara jumped a bit, startled when he heard Lee's voice calling out to him and everyone else. With his eyes, he found the ebony haired man standing in his previous position besides Iruka. He held his arms out wide, skywards, as if trying to embrace the wind. "Welcome to your temporary home. Though, I'm sorry to say that tonight I'll have to get rid of quite a lot of you." His large, expressive eyebrows met together in an apologetic motion. "This place can only fit about ten of you guys, so tonight I need to get to know you all and decide who will be the best choice for me." He grinned and all the girls giggled. They obviously loved his straight, white teeth.

Iruka stepped up then, nodding his head to what Lee had said. "I think that he just explained the rules better than I could have." The women laughed at that, all but Gaara, who chose to roll his eyes. "Tonight, he'll find ten young ladies and offer them each a Red Rose." He gestured to a stand where there were indeed ten long stemmed roses. "If you recieve a Rose, then you'll be staying. Those who don't, they'll sadly have to leave."

_I am _not_ getting a Rose tonight._ Gaara nodded to himself. There was no way that he was going to be offered one anyway, so he had nothing to worry about.

Lee moved forward again and smiled up at all of the ladies. "But let's not dwell on those matters now. Let's have some fun while we're here." He chuckled and gestured around the house while he spun in a complete circle once. "Come on!" And with that, he simply took off, running to the back porch where there was a pool and a very large lounge area.

Of course, as soon as Lee had given the signal, women were everywhere, scattering all over the place as they either went to get a drink from the kitchen or tried to go after Lee and get some alone time. Gaara, of course, had chosen to stay indoors. He took a seat on the couch in the living room and crossed his arms over his chest as he slumped down into the cushions. He heard how the camera men were approaching him from behind, trying to get good shots, but he had been told by the director to not pay them any attention. He hated that he was going to be on television. As if wearing a dress and hair extensions wasn't bad enough . . .

"Hey, you." Gaara's head perked up when he felt someone tap his shoulder and he turned around. That couldn't have been the camera crew since they were supposed to stay completely silent and only film the unfolding drama. Then who . . .

Slowly turning around, Gaara felt his heart sink down to his stomach. His eyes travelled up Temari's blue dress that was _way_ too low cut and all the way up to her painted up face. She was all tall, blonde and green-eyed; Indeed very pretty that night. But at that moment, her lovely face was drawn downwards in a scowl that made Gaara shudder. "Oh, crud." Was all that he could say. The look that his older sister had on her face showed that she knew who she was speaking to and that she was_not_ pleased.

"Mm-hmm. C'mon, honey. Your hair is a mess. Let's get you into the restroom and try and save it." She reached out and simply snatched Gaara's hand from his lap, yanking him to his feet and tugging him along towards the bathroom.

But Gaara knew as he was getting dragged away, the camera men following them, that Temari wasn't going to try and fix his hair. She was going to go berserk. She knew who he was and now she was going to _kill_ Gaara for what he was trying to pull.

_Crud. Crud. Crud. Crud. Crud. Crud. _

Soon enough, Gaara was standing in front of the sink in the restroom, looking at Temari from his reflection. The blonde woman turned off the microphone that was hidden beneath her dress and then reached over to do the same thing to Gaara. After she was sure that they were off, her expression darkened even more and her blue eyes narrowed into slits as she glarred right at Gaara through the mirror. "Now. Explain yourself. _Gaara_."

_Aw, fudge._

**Songstone: XD "Aw, fudge." Can't you just picture Gaara saying that?! XD I'm sorry. I just had to do that. Besides, I'm high off of something and I'm writing this at 1:40 in the morning. I'm beat. XD Well, just please tell me what you think! I'm still highly amused with this story and I hope you are too. Please R&R so that I can continue!**


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